From the Club

Same bullshit. Different page.

You know the moment. Someone asks what you're grateful for and something in your chest goes tight, because the honest answer is I am holding eleven things together with my hands and I would like to put one down.

But you can't say that. So you say your kids. Your health. Coffee.

And then you feel worse, because now you've lied about your own life to a journal.

This is the one that doesn't do that to you.

Sometimes life just fucking sucks. Sometimes things aren't fair, aren't your fault, and aren't fixable with deep breathing and a positive attitude.

Sometimes you need to scream. Or break something.

This journal is for that.

What it actually is

The Anti-Gratitude Journal starts from where you are instead of where a wellness influencer decided you should be. The prompts don't ask you to reframe. They don't ask you to find the lesson. They ask what happened, what it cost you, and what you'd like to stop carrying.

Sometimes the answer is funny. Sometimes it's ugly. Both are allowed here, which is the entire point.

You are not required to arrive at hope by the bottom of the page.

Why you'll want it

• The prompts assume you're an adult. No "list three wins." No smiley faces. Questions that respect that your life is complicated and you already know it.

• It works on bad days. Most journals are built for the version of you who has time and perspective. This one is built for 11pm, in bed, annoyed.

• Nothing to keep up with. No streaks, no habit tracker, no empty pages judging you from January.

• It's funny. Not comedy-club funny. The kind that makes you exhale.

• You can hand it to a friend. She'll know exactly why you gave it to her.

Details

• 96 prompts. None of them ask what you’re grateful for.

• 101 pages, acid-free

• 8.5 x 11 inches. Full size, so you can actually write

• Lay-flat binding, stays open while you write

• Matte soft-touch cover

• The cover reads F*ck This Shit: A Journal for When Gratitude Isn’t Cutting It

• Printed in the US, packed and shipped by me, not a warehouse

• Free shipping in the US

• Every order ships with a card from the Club

Gifting

If you're buying this for someone, you already know why. She's the one who says she's fine in a tone that means she's not, who did everything right and is quietly furious that it didn't work. This lands as recognition, not advice. That's rare, and she'll notice.

You don't have to be grateful today. You're allowed to just write it down.

One minor inconvenience away from losing it. The dishwasher’s full, the permission slip is due today, and the coffee went cold an hour ago. You’re fine. Mostly.

The line comes from prompt 96, the last question in the Anti-Gratitude Journal. The journal asks what matters most. The shirt just tells everyone where you’re at.

Heather Sunset, plus a few in Heather Sage, with black ink and the No Such Thing Club dandelion going to seed. Printed in small batches near Cleveland, not print-on-demand.

Details

• Bella+Canvas 3001CVC, unisex fit, so it runs roomier than a women’s cut

• 52% combed ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester. Imported

• Chest, laid flat: S 18 in, M 20 in, L 22 in, XL 24 in, 2XL 26 in

• Length: S 28 in, M 29 in, L 30 in, XL 31 in, 2XL 32 in

• Lay your favorite tee flat and compare before you pick

• Wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low or hang dry. Don’t iron the print

• Packed and shipped by me, not a warehouse

• Free US shipping

If you’ve ever been one minor inconvenience away from losing it, it’s for you.

A Monarch Caterpillar's Chicken Nugget.

Behind every monarch is a weed nobody thanked. Milkweed is the only thing a monarch caterpillar can eat, and it gets called a weed for its trouble. Plant it anyway.

You fed everyone in the house today, except possibly yourself. Here's one more mouth, and it's the easiest one you'll feed all year: milkweed is a monarch's chicken nugget. No substitutions, no “just try one bite.”

You might've forgotten your lunch, but you remembered the monarchs.

These are handmade recycled-paper seed balls packed with common milkweed seed. Orange and black, because the monarchs set the dress code. Twelve to a carton, each one packed with the one plant a monarch can’t live without. Throw them somewhere sunny that’s yours, October through January, and let winter do the rest. Milkweed seed needs a cold, wet season before it will wake up, so those are the right months to plant. That makes you the rare person whose timing is perfect.

Nothing will happen for months. That's not failure, that's the plan. Come spring, you get green. By the second or third summer you get flowers. If you're lucky, you get a striped caterpillar eating the whole thing down to the stem. That's also the plan.

You don't have to fix the planet. You can plant one thing a butterfly actually needs. That counts.

How to plant

Plant October through January. Pick a sunny spot with bare soil, somewhere a tall plant is allowed to spread. Press each ball halfway into the soil. Don't bury it. Water once. Walk away. Look for sprouts when the soil warms in spring.

Planting in spring instead? Put the balls in a bag with a damp paper towel and leave them in the fridge for 30 days first. That fakes the winter.

Details

What's in the pack

Gift carton of 12: twelve seed balls in a carton with monarchs on the lid, ready to hand to someone. It's the gift you don't have to wrap.

Box of 6: six seed balls in a plain kraft box with monarch stickers.

Mixed gift pot of 24, while the pots last: twelve of these plus twelve wildflower seed balls, in one kraft gift pot.

What's in the balls

Common milkweed seed (Asclepias syriaca), native to the eastern and central US, rolled by hand into orange and black recycled paper. Smaller than the wildflower balls on purpose: one kind of seed needs less room.

Six or more seeds in every ball, from seed that tested at 84% germination. Five live seeds per spot, for a plant that needs one.

Made by hand in Fairview Park, Ohio.

What it grows into

A perennial. Full sun. Grows 3 to 5 feet tall and spreads by underground runners, so give it room.

Shipping

Free US shipping. We ship these east of the Rockies only, where common milkweed belongs. Every order ships with a card from the Club.

Good to know

Milkweed sap is toxic if eaten and irritates eyes. Plant it away from pets that chew and animals that graze, and wash your hands after handling broken stems. The monarchs don't mind. It's how they became poisonous too.

Good for

The friend who needs to throw something and would like it to matter. The gardener who has everything except caterpillars. Teachers, grandparents, and the kid who won't stop talking about butterflies. Anyone who wants proof by next summer that they did one good thing.

Want flowers by summer instead? The wildflower pollinator mix is here.

Want different flowers, natives for where you live, a different planting season, or a batch for a wedding? Email hello@nosuchthingclub.com and tell me what you want.

Milkweed is a monarch’s chicken nugget. It’s the only thing a monarch caterpillar can eat. No substitutions, no “just try one bite.” You’re already used to picky eaters.

Everyone loves a monarch. Nobody plants the milkweed. That’s the whole problem, and also the whole job.

Heather Sage with black ink and the No Such Thing Club dandelion going to seed. Printed in small batches near Cleveland, not print-on-demand.

Details

• Bella+Canvas 3001CVC, unisex fit, so it runs roomier than a women’s cut

• 52% combed ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester. Imported

• Chest, laid flat: S 18 in, M 20 in, L 22 in, XL 24 in, 2XL 26 in

• Length: S 28 in, M 29 in, L 30 in, XL 31 in, 2XL 32 in

• Lay your favorite tee flat and compare before you pick

• Wash cold, inside out. Tumble dry low or hang dry. Don’t iron the print

• Packed and shipped by me, not a warehouse

• Free US shipping

Want to grow the nuggets yourself? The milkweed seed balls are here.

No Best Self Required.

You're allowed to stop working on yourself for a minute.

You've done the morning routine, the gratitude list, and the podcast about becoming your best self. Let the flowers do the growing for once.

No workbook. No 30-day challenge. No accountability partner texting you at 6am. You throw them, the weather does its part, and the flowers show up on their own schedule. That's the whole program.

The seed inside is the wildflower pollinator mix, eight North American wildflowers: partridge pea, purple coneflower, black-eyed Susan, lemon mint, two kinds of blanket flower, and two kinds of coreopsis. Bees, butterflies, and birds all show up for them. Almost half the mix is partridge pea, and a few sulphur butterflies raise their caterpillars on it. Yes, you're feeding someone else's kids again.

The annuals, like partridge pea and plains coreopsis, flower the first summer. The perennials, like purple coneflower, spend their first year putting down roots, usually flower the second summer, and come back every year after that. Some growth takes a second year. That's allowed here.

If you've ever bought a self-help book and used it as a coaster, it's for you.

How to plant them

Plant them. Forget them. Act surprised next summer.

Thanksgiving through mid-June. Got them early? Keep them cool and dry until then. Press each one halfway into bare dirt somewhere sunny. Ground frozen? Set them on top. Before April, the cold does the rest. Planting later? Water when it’s dry.

Plants have been doing this without you for millions of years.

Gifting

This is the gift for the friend who just got the diagnosis, the divorce papers, the layoff email, the text she wasn't expecting. It says I know, and it gives her something to do with her hands.

Hand-rolled in Cleveland with seeds, paper pulp, and more personal investment than is probably healthy. I sit on the board of a nature center and wildlife rehab. It's where my passion for pollinators grew. These are my way of planting some goddamn hope for them.

Good for:

Your friend who’s been having a year.

The mom who’s been holding it all together.

The person you don’t know how to comfort.

Anyone whose vibe is “I’d like to channel my rage constructively for once.”

Yourself, because yelling into a pillow doesn’t grow anything.

Details

What's in the pack

Gift pot of 12: twelve seed balls in a brown kraft pot with a lid, topped with butterfly and bee stickers. Nothing to wrap.

Box of 6: six seed balls in a plain kraft box.

Mixed gift pot of 24, while the pots last: twelve of these plus twelve orange and black milkweed seed balls for monarchs, in one kraft gift pot. The milkweed ones get planted October through January. The mixed pot ships east of the Rockies only, where milkweed belongs.

What's in the balls

Recycled paper pulp, hand-rolled in Cleveland around the wildflower pollinator mix (the eight flowers are listed above). Paper sprouts faster than the clay kind.

Shipping

Free US shipping. Every order ships with a card from the Club.

Planting for monarchs? Milkweed or Nothing is here. October through January is the time.

Want different flowers, natives for where you live, a different planting season, or a batch for a wedding? Email hello@nosuchthingclub.com and tell me what you want.